Eating alone...

Perhaps I'm just an anomaly (it certainly wouldn't be the first time), but I definitely don't fit the profile of the eaters described within The Onus of Oneness. I couldn't be more comfortable eating alone, whether in private or in public. I've probably gone out to eat by myself well over two hundred times. I'm great company. I really do keep myself entertained. There's always plenty to think about. Besides, I usually have something to read or listen to. Plus, when I'm at home, I have my blessed TV. And what company could compete with that holiest of household devices? And when by myself, there's never a need to worry about table manners or lack thereof. I'm free to engage in eating habits that make the Medieval Times restaurant look sophisticated. So no, I definitely don't mind eating by myself. In fact, I rather prefer it.

Recently I've been thinking that the issue isn't so much one of needing people around to eat with, but rather needing food to be around people. What people are really afraid of is just sitting and talking to each other! We need some context to make it appropriate. So we hide behind our food. Asking someone for a conversation is awkward...so we just ask them out to dinner. In a way, it's a kind of multi-tasking as well. I have to eat so I might as well take care of the socializing while I'm at it. Or maybe it's the other way around. Some people even talk while engaging in another physiological necessity: going to the bathroom. Thank goodness there aren't formal invitations for that (yet).

A shared activity does seem to help, though. Maybe it's something about diverting your focus or breaking the tension. Personally, I've found that my best conversations come while playing ping-pong, billiards, or shooting some hoops. These are more dynamic activities, and they seem less monotonous and predictable than eating. But the same purpose, that of deeper connection and communication, is achieved.

As detailed in a previous post, my family was (much to my mother's chagrin) never able to partake in that grand tradition of family meal-time. Sure, my mom tried a couple of times, but it just wasn't gonna happen. The idea never really caught on with the rest of the family. Actually, you could say that even when we were together, we were still eating separately. TVs, books, newspapers...they took the center stage. Family be damned. So I guess I learned early that you don't need company to enjoy your food. They might even get in the way (especially if it's my family).